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The snow vanishing into the sea

by Colin WB Foley

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1.
I awoke, the sound of you beneath my chest I rose to wake you, but you fell back inside I drew the curtains, or pretending that I even had them The sound of light in my eyes Refracted waves of rays grew steady through the Nile mist And I saw everything in sight The light flowed out from Cairo into me, as if I were The only refuge from the night I crossed the stairs, and moving down their wooden axis Felt the burning of the sun on my feet The lines of window frames drew tattoos on my naked arms And I sat down to eat But drawn away from me as I was drawn away from it You lay still, lying in our bed Rethinking mysteries of where we are and who we came from I returned, and sat by your head The world was open then, as if there' no one left to claim it From the famine for the low But everything I saw was mine to have, and mine alone And yours, just as much
2.
I used to think if I couldn't find hope I should just let it all go I used to think if I couldn't make dreams come true I should just let them all go Chorus: Concentrate, focus on love Center, now focus on love Dedicate, focus on love Focus, now focus on love Dreams can be driving Can be a distraction Dreams can change out of nowhere Life is so short even when hope's elusive Hard times dissolving in air Chorus Bridge Oh, oh, focus on love, Oh, oh, reflect on love Oh, oh, deep in the love Oh, ha ho, ha ho, ha ho-o Oh, ha ho, be open to love Oh, ha ho ha take in the love Oh, ha ho ha give back the love Oh, ha ho, ha ho, ha ho, ha ho, ha ho, ha ho, Chorus You can have it all If you learn what all is You can make your dreams come true You can find bliss Just remember it as And remember, it will flow back to you Bridge x2 When life seems impossible, look from a new angle Change just one little thing When life seems intolerable, find your true source of love Focus, now focus on love x2 When life seems intolerable, find your true source of love Focus, now focus on love
3.
Instrumental
4.
Why'd it have to end this way? Instinctively, I see your eyes shut slowly Sparing me from witnessing Our demise But it saw it all Plum blossoms fall I remember when there was no truth to tell And the only thing I needed here was you I shouldn’t have to say this because the pain inside suggests to me we’re through All blossoms fall Plum blossoms fall: There, he brings rays stolen from the lyric moon, he places them in her hair And dark till dawn he crouches down, feeling her care There, she seems moved to the dark chambers of her incredulous, frightened heart And the long-exposed silver stream waterfall flows sunwise roundabout to the dark Plum blossoms blow
5.
Subconscious said to me Be prepared to be deceived I didn't see this come, no Your blatant lies mean you must go You shared your truth with me I was blind, you helped me see Now the doors have been kicked open Your tenuous grip on honesty, it's broken Change is coming It's coming hard I know you know You know I know You shared your truth with me I was lost, but now I see Now those doors, they lie wide open I know no honest words from you are spoken No honest words are spoken No honest words Time flies Those rats, they lie
6.
[sampled] Everyone has the right to the protection of the moral and material interests from any scientific, literary, or artistic production, but all these all depend on patronage and support from the wealthy and powerful. And they support what is in their interests. We do not have full freedom of expression. A creator who is silenced is imprisoned. Independent, professional creative work is unsustainable. Of course creators and publishers and producers love their work, but we should not ask too much of love. It is not the consumer's choice. We are a society of laws; there is no freedom of expression.
7.
I thought that I would say to you What I meant for us was Not more serious than Waking up a marching band, our unity burns strand by strand The feather wick is flaring bright, We sing to hail the stars tonight I love my flag is shining, over the dark horizon Everything I do I do for you, I thought I knew, you knew it too I stood in fields of children tall All we were was peons We stood for lasting eons Have you ever seen the lights shine higher? The glowing radiance so real The downward rolling wheel Our day is finally at hand, we make the glory stand Now even God is waving His hand stretched unabating I taste the victory in smoke wafting through city streets Your city is no more, I've cut it down like none before The highest steeple is a flair Projecting fire in the air I thought I knew what I should do But I have failed you deathly I cut your children's throats I razed your city to the ground I killed them fleeing innocent No one's innocent
8.
In the darkness of night I look down and see The ocean rising up to me My house on the winding hill Sits comfortable still It's a midwinter night and the sky is dead And nothing creeps upon the land I feel myself alone between the blackness of ocean spray and sand I know inside it is light and warm And I have pages left to write But now, instead, when I feel the air, I'd like to walk into the night Chorus: And fall into the sea Swim as far as my arms will take me Slip beneath the waves Submerging Hesitant, but expectantly I visit friends; they're not judging me I feel at one, I'm free A new adventure – its choice for me Chorus
9.
I'm slipping off the coastal shelf I'm sinking deep into my self And if the snowmelt on the surface chills me down I don't mind I'll be fine If I had to come up, I don't think I could And if you weren't above me, I don't think I would I am nothing but a memory confined beneath the sea That's what I'll be I am a shadow now, alas! alas! Upon the skirts of human-nature dwelling Alone: I chant alone the holy mass,   While little sounds of life are round me knelling, And glossy bees at noon do fieldward pass, And many a chapel bell the hour is telling, Paining me through: those sounds grow strange to me, And thou art distant in Humanity. If I had to come up, I don't think I could And if you weren't above me, I don't think I would I am nothing but a memory confined beneath the sea That's what I'll be
10.
Lingering images of her, Wearing her silken dress The poison to her memory, Drifting through open web, Ensnaring everything too big To hold, to handle Frustrating tries at making up, At building, creating, The drone of pent-up ideas Building onto each other The words and images away, Caught back in their cocoon Taken to sandy shores And caught back, lighter, lighter I sit in a small venue, The well-known Penguin Café As my body drifts to sleep, My mind drifts through space I don't remember anything but words.

about

“I slept, of course, but there was no world of sleep. Just darkness stretching out in every direction. No, that doesn’t quite capture it. It wasn’t even darkness. There was nothing, nothing at all, no air or noise or gravity—not even me to experience them. Just overwhelming nothingness... like the snow vanishing into the sea.”

– Yoko Ogawa, *The Memory Police*

credits

released June 8, 2021

The band is:

Colin WB Foley: guitar, programming, production
Chris Buggy & Maddie Nolen: vocals
Jake Medvitz: bass

with
Shaun Crawford: lead guitar
Emery Maricle: drums

Chris Buggy's music can also be found at soundcloud.com/chris-buggy/.

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Colin WB Foley Sacramento, California

Strange music for strange people. Mashup albums available at drive.google.com/drive/folders/1SPll1TWXGxmYq1ftGGSzZoXrodtqL11P

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